As for me, that is how I am…..

In one of my sessions, I encountered the most interesting participant. Clearly, he had been dragged with chains and probably a gun had been put to his head to get him to be in the session. I thought his body language was bad enough until he started serving me some harsh responses. Grateful for developing my emotional intelligence, I pretty much ignored him. Eventually the head of HR for that company was hinted by another participant and he was asked to leave the session.

Just before he left, I asked him a question (I hadn’t had enough of him yet): What about this program upsets you so much? He retorted  “I think this is a waste of my time” and then I went on to say “ I can appreciate that you do not find it useful, but what about handling it differently, speaking nicely to us all and possible not disrupting the class”.

His answer: “Madam, as for me that is how I talk, that is how I am, I can’t change.”

This was an extreme case. I thought he was having a really bad day (not an excuse, we all have one problem or the other), but unfortunately, his work colleagues confirmed his “That is how I am”

Wow! I feel exhausted recounting this, but I have come to realize that in varied degrees, we all sometimes have the same posture. We may not come out so violently, but anytime we do not take steps to improve aspects of our lives, we are as badly behaved as Mr. Like-That.

You know I will bring in Etiquette J

If you remember that good etiquette encourages us to behave appropriately in whatever context, you will also remember that if your “Like that” offends others, you need to do something about it. Here’s an even better one. If we respond to your Tit with the same Tat, will you be happy? There we go again on how simple it is.

But more importantly, it is sadly a sign of mediocrity when we quietly or stubbornly refuse to improve. As an Excellence Coach, using etiquette as a tool for personal and business growth, I find that many people have not yet understood the need to work at developing their soft skills and refining the art of graceful living.

Let it never be heard from our lips, let us not whisper it to ourselves, let it not be said that you said  “ I am like that, I can’t change”. Instead, as we carve a positive personal or business image of ourselves, let us be open to making changes, to unlearning the “Like that’s” and acquiring progressive behaviour. This is in our interest and will do us a lot of good.

On the other hand, if you are more comfortable with staying “Like that”, we wish you well. As we progress, know that you are not like us, you are “Like that”, whatever it means.

When you think etiquette, think excellence, think Lifestyle!

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Living With Finesse
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